Dear
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,
My friend is a
homosexual and tried it on with me last night. I tried to tell him I'm not gay
but he won't leave me alone and I am seriously having thoughts to beat the shit
out of him. What do you think I should do?
Sincerely,
Ryan. P.S. If you don't have an
answer then can you give me the phone numbers to any desperate men that will
fuck his brains out.
Dear
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,
I think that you are
actually gay yourself, as it takes one to know one. So just let him do you and
stop pretending you're not a batty boy.
With all my love,
This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it
. P.S. With regards to those phone numbers that you are looking for,
try phone boxes in the Kemptown area of Brighton.
Dear
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,
My boyfriend
and I moved in together this summer. We used to have really good touchy feely
sex. Now he never touched me, doesn't give me a chance to touch him and the
clothes don't even come off any more. I don't know what to do. I don't want to
spend the rest of my life with sex like this.
Dear
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,
Get your best friend
involved. Suggest to your boyfriend that you have a threesome and then he'll be
tearing his kecks off. All three of you should also take some ecstasy. The
girls should take more than your boyfriend as the ecstasy might make him a bit
limp down under if he does too much.
Dear
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,
I need some
help obviously, well, I am a virgin and I met this really great guy and I think
I want to have sex with him but I'm not sure that I should trust him. I just
don't want to get hurt and at the same time get my pureness taken away. What
should I do?
Dear
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,
Shag a vicar and that
will warm you up nicely for the event. You can then fuck the living daylights
out of this guy free of guilt because you know God will be on your
side.
Dear
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,
This is because
you've been eating too many curries. Stick to a plain diet of rice and salad.
Also tell him to put some strawberry flavour jelly on his chopper first and
then everything should be just great.
Dear
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,
I've done
unspeakable things to my best friend's wife's mouth when he wasn't around. She
wants me to, and I always do. I've pooped in her mouth. Peed in her mouth.
Pumped load after load of cum in her mouth. I've peed in her mouth after
coming. I've pooped in her mouth and shot loads of cum on the poop. I fart on
her tongue regularly. I've even barfed in her mouth once, when a particular
fart got out of hand and I squirted diarrhoea in her mouth ... which she drank.
She eats and drinks it all. I've even shit in her mouth and punched her in the
face and called her shit eating whore. She loves it.
Dear
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,
You should get them
together and talk about this. These things are best out in the open and if he's
a real friend he'll understand, as no whore should ever cum between
friends.
You also need to go and see a psychiatrist as you are obviously
completely fucked up.
Acidpete : ive heard a lot of bad things about lowryders, mostly been homo from seed? i have no experence with seeds but abit with cuttings lets see what happens
Acidpete : burnt muffins is no good get gone!
And Then We : i'm going to have to go make sure my muffins haven't burnt mate, hope you aren't waiting around too long tonight at work : )
And Then We : have updated wiki too so everyone knows who reads our info, too now
And Then We : well it's my first batch of toms and i'm starting right from quality seed, problem is i didn't know that lowryders need a bit of a poke, like cracking them first in order to get the tap root out, luckily ILB found info for me
Acidpete : yea ive run out of tomatoes got to wait 2weeks for my no1 tomato to come in. Ohh the wait is endless
And Then We : or at least the journey has begun
And Then We : oh right yes, just back from meeting, going to fill my bowl up and celebrate my tomatoes being on their way soon
Acidpete : HGV driver i do 12h shifts but can spend upto 7h sat waiting and yourself
