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Written by Administrator
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Wednesday, 02 April 2008 |
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GOD caught up in drugs scandal, DEA agents investigate major drugs cultivation operations, Dr Hemp reports ....
DEA agents in the USA arrested God this week after worried parents around the nation phoned in complaints that someone had created nature allowing their children to sample forbidden fruits such as magic mushrooms, peyote and cannabis.
God was charged with manufacturing the hallucinogens psilocin, psilocybin, mescaline, THC and DMT. Mr God, aged unknown, from Heaven, is accused of peddling his psychedelic products on the Earth and on the Internet.
Authorities were alerted to the alleged conspiracy when "parents called and said they had found a massive variety of plants containing drugs that their teenaged kids could either grow or pick in the wild," said U.S. Attorney Fergus Fungus.
Undercover DEA agents picked magic mushrooms on the defendant's planet and also successfully grew cannabis plants from seeds he had created, which were confirmed by a DEA chemist to contain THC.
Approximately 5 billion years ago, God is alleged to have created the Earth, although this is disputed by fundamentalist Christians who claim it was only 6,000 years ago.
Investigators conducting surveillance identified God as the supreme being who had given every herb bearing seed which is upon the face of all the Earth for the use of man.
Agents served a search warrant at God's home in the Kingdom of Heaven and found a cannabis growing operation inside.
U.S. Magistrate Judge Dread declined God's request for a court-appointed public defender after he listed his monthly income as an ungodly amount of money.
God faces up to 20 years on prison and a $1 million fine for each offence if convicted, however, he has so far failed to appear in court, or anywhere, as it happens.
© Dr Hemp 2008
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Last Updated ( Saturday, 12 July 2008 )
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