New questions to Dr Hemp from stoners across the world.
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Dear
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I have been
skinning up for a long time now, is it possible that I am completely deluded by
this world and does it owe me a living.
Please help me doctor before I
roll another and lose my mind utterly, ahhhhhhh!
Thanks,
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Dear
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Does the world
owe you a living? Of course they fucking do, but unfortunately, yes you are
also completely deluded.
My advice is to continue your daily
prescription of joints, you won't lose your mind, however at least you won't
wake up from your delusion to discover the world owes you fuck all!
Go
and get a job you lazy hippy!
Regards,
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Dear
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Hope you are well. My problem is my skunk dealer in Plymouth steams his weed. I don't think its right that my hard earned cash is wasted.
I have already stated to the dealer the weed is steamed. How can I get them to stop without it turning into fighting talk?
Thanks,
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Dear
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First of all, may I say how nice it is to get a letter from a legend like Jutt, former Magic Mushroom vendor of Camden Town. We salute all your efforts over the years towards the psychedlic revolution and to getting many people in London caned.
This wet weed issue is a pet hate of mine. It's all about greedy gangsters ripping off us poor ganja smokers just because they don't want to dry their weed properly so that it's heavier when they sell it.
You should also stalk him with super-soaker water pistols and give him a darn good dousing, just like he did with your weed. Roll his balls on the Hoe, just like Drake did!
Regards,
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Dear
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Why is it I can only get shitty soapbar?
Thanks,
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Dear
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You either live in Torquay or your dealer is one of those Chavs with flashing lights on his trainers (also applicable if you live in Torquay).
Soapbar is horrible and I would rather smoke one of those legal smoking blends if that were the only choice. Fortunately, there is plentiful supply of high quality hash or nice dry crisp ganja where I live.
You should not smoke soapbar, as apart from containing all sorts of nasty shit, it also helps fund CIA terrorism, as most organised rip off gangs who sell soap need their authorisation to operate.
Soapbar is an increasing problem in the UK and annoying Arabs hardly helps. Why would they care about the quality of our pot after bombing them to pieces? It's hardly surprising if they slip a bit of henna in the bar to get a few more AK47s and Katyusha rockets to deal with the empirical invasion of their sovereign land. Sheik rattle and roll.
Regards,
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Dear
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What happened to giving away Torquay soap bar? That was genius.
Thanks,
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Dear
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Just come up with a question dumb enough and it's off to Torquay with £30 to score an ounce of Scouse rocky bar with impurities guaranteed, such as horse tranquillisers, rubber and henna to name but a few.
Since reopening my surgery, I am mainly inundated with spam and very few questions, but I'm sure some idiot out there will come up with one soon.
Regards,
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Dear
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What oil is used to make hash oil?
Thanks,
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Dear
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I am afraid you are going to get the traditional dumb question of the week award, because hash oil is made like it indeed implies in the name from, have you guessed it yet?
Duh! HASH!!! One way is by fractional distillation using alcohol (or deathanol as I call it) if you want me to get more technical I might have to find a new sciencey guy to boggle you all with really academic professor-type answers.
Torquay soapbar is on its way to you. Well done!
Regards,
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Dear
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mate i am a happy shotty ripper from totnes. one qeustion, is this site really a good idea, i mean if it actually contained useful and insightful information then it would perhaps be worthwhile but as it stands this website is an embarrassment for anyone who lives in totnes. i suggest you get rid of it for the sake of all the totnes stoners. thank you good day?
Thanks,
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Dear
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Shotties are well Chav, I did them at 16 in Ashburton. I'm afraid as you smoke your cannabis with tobacco using and old plastic coca cola bottle and a ball point pen then that means you are not a proper stoner and therefore unqualified to comment on the merits of this site
Rather than taking a pop at the site, why don't you join the forum send us pics, stories and ideas or start your own website? If you can do better go for it! Though judging by your spelling and punctuation, I'm not holding my breath.
It's easy to slag it off from the sidelines. What are you doing about cannabis issues and legal concerns? Have you got anything witty or informative to say?
Why do you want rid of it so much? Are you sure you are not P.C. Allterside posing as a Chav?
Regards,
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Dear
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I have been an avid fan of yours for a while and sitting here in my hazy bubble located in outer Amsterdam I was wondering why you had never thought about relocating to Amsterdam?
I write this in the hope of getting some free seeds, coz ...
A) I'm a stingy cunt. B) I'm a great guy!
By the way, do you still give away soapbar for the dumbest question?
Take it easy,
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Dear
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Thank you for your kind words. Caned In Totnes has been going strong now for nearly 8 years and has had millions of hits over the years. Good to know we're putting Totnes on the map for the right reasons.
Well it has crossed my mind in the past, but I decided to stay here when a few years ago cannabis was declassified to C and it looked like there was the possibility of a coffeeshop culture in the UK.
So yes I have thought long and hard about the "Dr Hemp's Coffee Shop" franchise in Holland (better think quick, or you stingy Dutch will have sold my soul before I could say lucif....).
Maybe we are the last bastion of hope for British Stoners holding out in freedom fortress against American (and our own governments) capitalist dictatorships and corporate fascists.
Yes, as you see above, we do still give away Torquay soapbar for dumb questions, not that you would ever be wanting any of that as you live in Amsterdam.
Regards,
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Dear
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I'm going to Amsterdam for a few days and I need some insight on the types of highs on the different strains available.
I want a cerebral, uplifting high that's not too intense for the day time and a mellow stoned high that will give me the munchies at night. Do you have any suggestions?
Take it easy,
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Dear
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You will be spoiled for choice in Amsterdam. My personal favourite is Moroccan Hash, which is perfect if you if you're looking for that cerebral uplifting high that's not too intense.
To find the best Moroccan Hash, avoid the tourist coffeeshops in the centre and instead try to find one of the Arabic run teashops on the outskirts of the city. If you are in the centre then the Blue Bird coffeeshop in Antoniesbreestraat usually has a nice selection of solids. Enjoy your stay in Amsterdam.
Regards,
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